My vieja gets mad and I don’t even know water problem is!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BRIEF

My homie farted. bad, and I couldn’t brief .

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: MUSHROOM

Orale vato, when all my familia gets in the car, theres not
mushroom.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CHICKEN

My vieja wanted me to go to the store, but chicken go by

herself .

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: LIVER & CHEESE

Some vato tried to sweet talk my ruca.  I told him, orale

loco liver alone, cheese mine.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JULY

Ju tol me ju were goin to the store and July to me! Julyer!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: WAFER

I wanted to go with my mom to the flea market pero she

didn’t wafer me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HERPES

I had some cake to share with my wife, this is my piece this

is herpes.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: TISSUE

I told you if you didn’t know how to do it, I could  tissue.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: HARASSMENT

Aorale vato my old lady caught me in bed wit my sancha

so I said harassment nothing to me!

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: CASHEW

I was running after you but I couldn’t  cashew !

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: BISHOP

We went out to the club y mi vieja got drunk and fell

down, so I had to pick the  bishop.

SPANISH WORD OF THE DAY: JUICY
Hey vato, I’m going to eat Paco’s food, tell me if juicy him!

BEWARE OF PAPER IN THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE

NEW WAY TO DO CAR JACKING

(NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating…

You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside.

You start the engine and shift into Reverse.

When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking
space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window.
So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to
remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.

When you reach the back of your car, that is when the car
jackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off.

They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car.

So now the car jacker has your car, your home address, your
money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS

NOW BEING USED….

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just
drive away.

Remove the paper later. And be thankful that you read this
e-mail.

I hope you will forward this to friends and family, especially to
women.

A purse contains all kinds of personal information and
identification documents, and you certainly do NOT want this to fall
into the wrong hands.

Don’t play with explosives.

1.       Midnight Movie (2008) (post-production) …. Rachael

2.       Trance (2008) (post-production) …. Chloe

3.       Middle of Nowhere (2008) (completed) …. Jean

4.       “Cold Case” …. Liza West (1 episode, 2008)
- Slipping (2008) TV episode …. Liza West

5.       Multiple Choice (2008) …. Barb

6.       “Friday Night Lights” …. Jean Binnel (3 episodes, 2008)
- May the Best Man Win (2008) TV episode …. Jean Binnel
- Leave No One Behind (2008) TV episode …. Jean Binnel
- Humble Pie (2008) TV episode …. Jean Binnel

7.       You’re So Dead (2007) …. Candy

8.       The Suit (2007) …. Rasha

–http://www.imdb.com

 *HERO’s SPOILER*

Look for a new villain named Joy. Her power is superspeed—she’s lightning-fast, like the Flash. Hiro meets her in a museum. He asks her if she has powers and if she is trying to steal some art.

She convinces him she’s on the up-and-up…and then makes off with a bunch of paintings. She’s described as a nymph-like character with the speed of a cheetah on, er, speed - eonline

 more

You are a Coloradoan if ………….
1. You switch from ‘Heat’ to ‘A/C’ in one day.

2. You know what the ‘Peoples Republic of Boulder’ means.

3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the
mountains.

4. You’re a meat-eating vegetarian.
5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have your
own special bike lane.

6. You’re able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow during
a raging blizzard without even flinching.

7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you would
never go there otherwise.
8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat Tire
Beer.

9. You design your kid’s Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
11. You know all 4 seasons ‘almost winter, winter, still winter and
spring blizzards

12. You’ve been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU victory.

13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from
altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.

14. You can drive over a 12,000-foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but can’t
get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.

15. You know the ‘correct’ pronunciation of Buena Vista.

16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of beer
and not get a buzz.

17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.

18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.

19. April showers bring May blizzards.
20. ‘Timberline’ is someplace you have actually been.

21. You know what a ‘Chinook’ is

22. You know what a ‘Rocky Mountain Oyster’ is.

23. You know what a ‘fourteener’ is.

24. .But you don’t know what a ‘turn signal’ is.

25. A bear on your front porch doesn’t bother you nearly as much as a
Democrat in Congress does.

26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.

27. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.

28. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn’t seem strange.

29. Thunder has set off your car alarm.

30. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.

31. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.

32. Where we’re going, we don’t need roads!!

33. You know where the real ‘South Park’ is.

34. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.

35. Driving directions usually include ‘Go over_________ Pass.’

36. You’ve ‘checked for ticks.

37. You’ve dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka with a hood.

38. You’ve gone snow skiing in July and………

39. You’ve played golf in January and…….

40. They were in the same year!

41. You’ve urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could run into
both
oceans.

42. You know what a down slope and an up slope weather pattern is.

43. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of satisfaction
from
knowing that California and Texas are both down stream.

44. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your Colorado
friends.

Charlie walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
“Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache.”

His wife is lying in bed and replies: “I think you’ll find that’s a
sheep, you idiot.”

The man says to his wife: “I think you’ll find that I wasn’t talking to
you.”

Authority -

Being on top doesn’t make you better.  Turds can float to the top. 

*picture of the V-22 Osprey.

It’s hard to imagine an American weapons program so fraught with problems that Dick Cheney would try repeatedly to cancel it — hard, that is, until you get to know the Osprey. As Defense Secretary under George H.W. Bush, Cheney tried four times to kill the Marine Corps’s ungainly tilt-rotor aircraft. Four times he failed. Cheney found the arguments for the combat troop carrier unpersuasive and its problems irredeemable. “Given the risk we face from a military standpoint, given the areas where we think the priorities ought to be, the V-22 is not at the top of the list,” he told a Senate committee in 1989. “It came out at the bottom of the list, and for that reason, I decided to terminate it.” But the Osprey proved impossible to kill, thanks to lawmakers who rescued it from Cheney’s ax time and again because of the home-district money that came with it — and to the irresistible notion that American engineers had found a way to improve on another great aviation breakthrough, the helicopter.