Internet Addiction: RP

Between my job, my business and general surfing, I probably spend 75% of my total time on a computer.  My wife does not have a job and she is on the Internet more than me.  She does nothing but role-play “RP” most of the day and all night.  We’ve got two small kids so that makes the situation much worse. 

This is not the woman I married.  She used to be my fantasy girl:  Loyal, dedicated, loving and open almost to a fault.  But now all of that has changed.  She spends something like 90% of her time on the Internet and it is affecting me and the kids.   Its so bad that now I have to really consider ending 12 years of marriage.  She still does the laundry a couple times a week and cooks pretty consistently, but we don’t spend ANY time together.

She spends most of her time on myspace doing RP.  The role-play consists of lots of sex, drama and violence.  The only time the cyber sex bothers me is if I can’t get any sex.  So long as there are no double standards and I can get some, I can deal with it.  Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather my wife of 12 years didn’t role-play fantasy sex with strangers on the Internet.  But it gives me a free pass to flirt, too.  Its dangerous ground, I know, but I’ll play the game.

Her addiction comes from a lack of ability to emotionally connect with other people.  She is afraid of real emotions in real life.  In her RP world, she can be, do, fuck anyone she wants without consequence.  But in the real world she is emotionally handi-capped with a “friendship” shelf life of about 18 months.  When people get to close she shuts off emotionally.  I think that until she can connect to her own real feelings, until she can face her own emotional pain & pleasure she will be stuck.  In the meantime, me and kids have to move on and think about the future.

She is going to counseling and taking meds but time is short.  I’ve been dealing with this for quite sometime.